Counting Sheep

There’s hardly a day that goes by when we aren’t bombarded with another medical report concerning the dangers of not getting enough sleep.

We’ve been told that unless we get enough sleep we will become obese because the hormone that suppresses appetite is produced only during sleep.

Lack of sleep leads to premature aging, loss of libido, inability to concentrate, high blood pressure, depression (or is it that depression leads to insomnia?) etc etc and now we hear from Bob Stickgold from the Harvard Medical School that people who have slept have a better recall of facts than those who haven’t. In other words, an all night study marathon will not be of any benefit for a student. He would do better(25% better)to have a good sleep before an exam.

Isn’t it amazing how attitudes have changed! I remember when we were being warned not to spend too long sleeping because it would lead to obesity. Now the opposite is being spouted and I have to wonder who is correct. How much sleep is enough sleep? We are even being advised to catch a nap during the day.

At this rate we’ll only be getting out of bed to change the bedlinen and grab a bite to eat. Continue reading

Warning to all Iraqi insurgents

Be afraid! Be very afraid, cause Prince Harry of England is coming to get you. Cornet Wales, as he is called, is primed and eager to rout the enemy.

He intends to be treated just like any other soldier.

There will, of course, be a group of SAS guards in the royal vicinity, but apart from the guards and the special food and the royal barber and the royal batman, Harry will be treated no differently.

His campaign will avoid the city areas of Iraq for “logistic” reasons and his tour of duty will be mainly in the sandhills somewhere “safer”.

You’ve seen Harry in Nazi uniform, now you can see him in British uniform and it’s quite possible that you’ll see him in flowing white robes just like Lawrence of Arabia.

Watch this space for photos of Harry dressed like a terrorist with a keffiyeh, once he’s been captured and is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

Is it possible that the Queen of England is proud to be sending her grandson to Iraq because she secretly hopes that the insurgents will capture him and dispose of him? He would then be revered as a hero instead of as the black sheep with a questionable parentage. It’s been done before. Send the prodigal into battle and hope he disappears.

There’s something about Harry, all right. Where Harry goes can trouble be far behind?

A Convenient Cult

On the long road from Brisbane to Sydney, you’ll find young Sarah Bishop. She’s busy running the 1000 kilometres for a good cause, as she told the reporter from the TV station on the 19th of this month.
Her purpose is to bring attention to the problem of global warming. And she is even rotating four pairs of sneakers to achieve this.

Is Sarah’s gesture really necessary? Continue reading

Out with it

Finally I summoned all my courage and caved in to my suspicions. The question had to be asked and I could not stand the speculation one minute longer.

So I fronted up to my husband, looked at him fixedly, so as to judge from his body language, and propelled the question that had been bugging me for the past week.

“Are you the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby?”

He didn’t reply immediately and I wondered whether his hesitation had any significance. Was he trying to formulate a response that would pacify me or was he going to ‘fess up, as they say?

Finally, after what seemed a suspiciously long time, he said “No”.

“Dammit” I muttered. There go the palace, the yachts, the jumbo. I’m married to the only man in the world who hasn’t bedded the late and apparently, extremely affectionate, Ms Smith.