It was a pretty pathetic scene. The city of Melbourne was suffering from the coldest minimum temperature since the Neolithic Age.

A group of lost souls was pacing up and down outside Aldi at 8 am on Saturday, waiting for the store to open at 8.30.

We were among this bunch, watching the others surreptitiously, planning our onslaught so that we could reach the limited specials in time before they ran out

When I say “we” I’m exaggerating slightly. My husband thought the whole venture was ridiculous, but he accompanied me anyhow. So what I really mean is the “Royal We”, that is, yours truly, who was being sucked it by one of Aldi’s special offers.

Sleeveless puffer vests for ladies for only $12.99!

Who could resist that? Not I. So I dragged my husband along at the crack of dawn on Saturday to get my hands on one or more of these amazing vests.

I’m on Aldi’s mailing list, you see, and every week I receive an email with their upcoming special buys.

I used to think that I was above that sort of thing, but apparently, I’m not. I love getting the catalogue to see if I “need” anything in it.

Anyhow, there I was last Saturday, hovering behind a man in a wheelchair, working out a strategy for a quick and efficient entry.

Being the genius that I am I concluded that there was very little chance that the man in the wheelchair would be heading for the ladies puffer vests, so he was no threat to me.

The door opened and we all rushed in like a bunch of desperadoes. I headed for the centre aisle, picked up three vests in every size, then I took three more in another colour. My husband was holding my handbag so that I could try on one of each.

So far so good.

“So how does it look?” I asked the keeper of the handbag. There’s no mirror in Aldi, unfortunately.

“It’s looks okay,” he replied. “Do you really need these vests?” he asked.

Poor man, I muttered to myself as I mucked about with the vests. Sometimes I feel so sorry for him. He really hasn’t a clue about bargains. I mean these were only $12.99!

So I selected two of them. Pleased as punch, I was.

We went home with my treasure. I paraded in front of the mirror. “Don’t you think they’re a bit loose?” I asked my spouse. “Well, yes”, was the reply. I told you they were okay and they are okay. For the price”, he added.

The next day, Sunday, we returned to Aldi with the two vests and got a refund.

Wonder what’s on special next week? Pretty pathetic, eh…