Yesterday President Obama declared to the Turkish leader that the U.S is not and will never be at war with Islam. Depends on the definition of Islam, I guess. How about the Taliban and Al Qaeda or are we playing semantic games with terminology here?

Oh, that’s right, they are extremist groups who have nothing to do with the moderates. I’m wondering how Obama knows this to be a fact since “the moderates” don’t speak out in protest following a terror attack against the West?

Where was the condemnation from those oh so moderate Muslims when the Twin Towers were attacked? And why were those moderate Palestinians dancing in the streets when they heard of the murder of almost 3000 Americans in New York?

Anyway, why is it that we never hear that Islam is NOT at war with the U.S? Now that would be news, wouldn’t it?

We are learning a lot about our Prime Minister’s foibles. There were already rumours in Queensland that he was hard to get on with, but he is quite the actor and presents a mild exterior in public, while simmering inside and taking it out on his staff later on.

His explanation for such outbursts is that he is human, only human. Well, we never thought he was superhuman in the first place.

What he means is that he has his faults too. You know something, Mr Prime Minister, we would like to know if you ever tell off one of the big wigs? Did you let President Obama see your “human” side?

In my opinion, the mark of a man is not how he treats his superiors to whom he has to grovel, but how he treats his subordinates, the ones who have to do his bidding and so far Kevin Rudd’s report card registers an F.

I don’t like the fact that Rudd’s staff had to lie about the quarrel with the flight attendant. And I don’t like the way Rudd said IF he offended anyone then he is sorry. There are no ifs about it. He did offend and we, the Australian public, expect better behaviour in future.

My first question is can anyone think of a more difficult place to secure than London? One of the biggest cities in the world had to spend millions on security against terrorists and demonstrators. Wouldn’t a quiet resort in Switzerland have been a wiser choice for a gathering of the G20 financial talks?

My second question is why did the wives have to attend, when it was going to be all about serious economic discussions? Perhaps they all went by coach on a guided tour of outlet stores?

The truth is out. I have an ugly identical twin sister who makes an unwelcome appearance in my life. Take yesterday, for example, when the time had come for me to renew my driver’s licence now that I live in Melbourne.

I took extra care yesterday to style my hair and make up my face using “mineral powder”. I even put hairspray on my wonderful glistening locks so that the style would last until I had “the photo” taken. After all, this photo would be on my licence for the next ten years.

After filling out all the forms, I braced myself for the photo shoot. But just as I was about to be captured on film for the next decade my very ugly, very depressing twin sister turned up and pushed me out of the way and demanded to be photographed instead of me.

I don’t even know how it happens but whenever I have to have an important photo taken, say on a passport or at a gala function, she pushes in and poses instead of me. It’s not as if I don’t try hard. I practise smiling just a little, because grinning would make me look like the village idiot. I open my eyes wide so that I look refreshed and innocent.

It’s not easy when the photographer is a young girl who doesn’t even bother to look up from her contraption to tell you she’s about to shoot.

So I wait apprehensively, my smile fading away as I begin to wonder what’s going on and that’s when my ugly twin sister bursts onto the scene, pushes me out of the way and takes over.

She’s done it again. And now I’m stuck with this terrible, terrible photo for the next ten years.

She makes me look like that infamous picture of Nick Nolte on his arrest. It’s a wonder my driver’s licence doesn’t have a profile pix as well with a Wanted caption below it.

So who’s going to believe that it’s not the real me? Why can’t they have some professional photographer on duty who will make sure that your ugly twin doesn’t spoil the picture?