totally absurd

Mother feeds baby in no stopping zone

liligans totally absurd

What is the matter with this silly world? I have just sat through two news broadcasts on the TV which aired the story of a woman whose car had been photographed in a “No Stopping Zone.” She was on her way to the airport when her baby mucked up in the car and so she decided to stop her car and feed it, the baby, that is.

She subsequently was sent a parking infringement notice for $120 and she is annoyed about it. Why should she have to pay when she has many expenses? She has better things to do with that $120 than pay a fine for breaking the law.

Apparently, she doesn’t understand that if there is a “No Stopping” notice it means that it is dangerous to park in that spot.

Now this “victim”, Renee Buckley, has already been informed that she can appeal her “special” circumstances. Baby was hungry and couldn’t wait a few minutes to be fed in a safe and legal area.

What would have happened had some car crashed into her as she parked in that dangerous spot? Why did she place her baby in danger like that?

For crying out loud, why is it that some people think they are above the law? And why does the media report such silly stories?

This is most definitely a storm in a B-Cup.

Pathetic joke, I know…but I just couldn’t resist making it.

Another day another Aussie soldier killed in Afghanistan

liligans Politics, totally absurd

The Prime Minister of Australia, Julia Gillard, today said that we are in Afghanistan for the long haul in spite of having lost another of our soldiers. She says that we are having great success in getting rid of terrorists and that all these deaths of our soldiers are worth the sacrifice. Why? Well , because we will prevent the terrorists from establishing themselves in that country. Go ahead, Julia, tell that to their grieving families.

How can anyone believe this propaganda? As soon as we call it quits, and we must inevitably leave one day, the Taliban or whoever else is ambitious there will creep back in, raise their ugly heads and cheer as the infidels retreat.

I read today that five U.S soldiers were killed in Iraq. This is a fiasco. The only people who can get rid of terrorists in Iraq or Afghanistan are the locals themselves. It seems to me that if some of those Afghan soldiers are actually shooting our soldiers, we are not very welcome there.

This is a lost cause. Let us not add to it with further losses of our brave young men and women.

Wasting U.S lives and money in Afghanistan

liligans Politics, totally absurd, What Pisses me off

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not an expert on international affairs, but I do understand the realities of life.

What has finally prompted me to write again is the devastation that I have been watching on TV. The Midwest and the South in the U.S are being flooded. On top of that there have been tornadoes that have killed over one hundred people as well as destroying entire towns. Many people are still missing.

My heart goes out to those people who will need fathomless aid to rebuild their lives.

Quite simply, they will need lots of cash. And it’s up to the government to supply it to them.

I understand that money is a finite resource and that the U.S has just suffered from the GFC. Indeed, it is still trying to recover from it.

At the same time it keeps on spending billions on a futile war in Afghanistan. It is wasting money trying to win over hearts and minds among the local population of Afghanistan. Meanwhile, American and our Australian soldiers are returning home in body bags.

For what? Is it worth it? Will it prevent further terrorist attacks against us? I seriously doubt it. Vigilant intelligence is better than body bags.

Why should the U.S have to sacrifice itself in the hope of bringing civilisation to those parts of the world which are still living under some primitive code? It’s not as if these countries are going to be grateful to the U.S and its allies. They hate our guts. Blowing us up is not a Welcome Mat.

Don’t the U.S states such as Missouri, Minneapolis and Oklahoma which are suffering all these catastrophes deserve help from their own government? And how about the victims of Hurricane Katrina who are still waiting to come home?

I’ve heard the saying that charity begins at home, but in my opinion, taking care of your own people is not charity. It is the primary duty of all governments. That is why they are elected.

The experts on nuclear dangers are crawling out of the woodwork.

liligans So you think you're cultured?, Society, T.V, totally absurd, What Pisses me off

As if reports about the potential threat of a nuclear meltdown in Japan aren’t enough to drive me to despair, enter The Experts.

Every news bulletin unearths its own expert on the situation at Fukushima. He is usually from some obscure university such as the School of Miscellaneous Panic Studies in Antarctica. The interviewer asks him for his considered opinion based on his considerable knowledge of nuclear power only to hear:- “Well, it’s too soon to tell.”

The desperate interviewer prods Dr Mumbles for an atom of information, a sound byte perhaps? but no, the expert pleads ambivalence. “We don’t have enough information as yet,” he explains. “I would be loathe to predict the outcome of this situation.”

“But the situation looks pretty grim, doesn’t it, Dr Mumbles?” prods the interviewer.

“Well, yes… and no, although it’s too soon to tell,” Dr Mumbles responds. “It all depends on…”

“Thank you, Dr Mumbles,” interrupts the interviewer before going back to shots of the steaming nuclear reactor.

“That was Dr Mortimer Mumbles from the University of Antarctica expressing concern over the extremely grim situation at Fukushima.”

What was all that about? I ask myself. They could have interviewed me, and I would have said “Dunno, but it ain’t lookin’ good.” But I wasn’t asked because I don’t have the cachet, the info, the insight, the expertise. My dunno would lack credibility, I guess. However, it is comforting to know that I’m not alone.

Melbourne streets deserted during AFL (not so) Grand Final

liligans Society, totally absurd

You could have exploded firecrackers in the streets of Melbourne yesterday afternoon and nobody would have noticed.

It was reminiscent of the scene that greeted the invaders from that 1959 Peter Sellers film, “The Mouse that Roared.” The impoverished principality, The Grand Duchy of Fenwick, had decided to invade the U.S in order to be defeated and thereby be eligible for great sums of money as compensation from the U.S for their losses.

As it happens, everything went wrong and the best laid plans of mice and men came to a tragic end. The Fenwickians had attacked the U.S on the very day that some nuclear war games were being staged and so the streets in the U.S were deserted. There was no opposition to the invasion. Regrettably, The Grand Duchy of Fenwick was the victor.

And so it was in Melbourne yesterday. The gentle folk of Melbourne were either in the stadium or were glued to their TV sets watching a most auspicious Grand Final football match between St Kilda and Collingwood.

We felt like the only people in Melbourne who did not watch the match since we belong to the AFL, the Anti Football Club. That’s not quite true, however. We aren’t against football. It’s just that we simply don’t care.

Anyhow, it turns out that just like the recent federal election, the whole thing ended in a draw and so has to be repeated next week.

Australia seems to be plagued by draws lately, but at least the football will have a rematch while our government is still trying to work things out without a rematch.

What really intrigued me last week was a report of a 70 something year old man being bashed up outside a supermarket. The widower was described as a Collingwood supporter and I wondered what difference did this make in the scheme of things. Had he not been a Collingwood supporter would the attack have been justified?

The whole incident was over some youths who had been rude to the man inside the store and then waited for him outside and bashed him up. It had nothing to do with football. Nor did it have anything to do with the fact that he lost his wife six years ago and had been doing the shopping himself ever since. Many people do their own shopping, don’t they?

What did any of this have to do with the attack? It’s what I call irrelevant padding to make a story seem sadder than it is. “Elderly man bashed up by youths” is apparently not horrifying enough for these reporters. But it should be!

The Delhi Folly

liligans So you think you're cultured?, totally absurd

There’s no chance that terrorists will venture into the Commonwealth Games venues. It’s just too bloody dangerous for them. Jihadists wouldn’t get far before a bridge would collapse, a ceiling would fall on their heads or dengue fever would drag them down. And if that didn’t get them, then they would succumb to horrid infections from the dreadful hygiene in the athletes’ village.

So what did the official spokesman for the games reply when he was questioned about the standard of preparation for the games. “Not a problem,” he said. “It is world class.” Third world, I guess. lol

Now I’m certain we are assured of a large TV audience for the games. Who can resist watching the whole thing fall apart? Will the swimming pools leak? Will the running tracks crumble underfoot?

Suddenly there’s renewed interest in these anachronistic games.

That’s if athletes bother to turn up and risk life and limb. As for tourism? Well, there should be plenty of discounts for masochists. Just getting to the venues in one piece should provide much excitement. They could even make a fortune selling T-shirts that read “I went to Delhi AND I came back!”

Deadlocked election in Australia

liligans Politics, So you think you're cultured?, totally absurd

As I suspected, and I wasn’t the only one, the election is deadlocked. There is no winner except for the protest voters. Some voters decided that neither party was worthwhile, so they either voted for one of the minor parties or they decided to sabotage their votes. They left it up to others to decide for them.

In my opinion, it is perfectly legitimate to vote for a minor party like the Greens, for example, even though they weren’t my choice. That’s what democracy is all about. But to go further and vote informal just because you want to sit on the fence seems like an insult to the democratic process. I guess these informal voters have the democratic right to not vote, but what a waste of a hard fought-for privilege!

Apparently, half a million non-voters, and that’s how I describe them, didn’t even have the brains to weigh up policies and choose the party which offended them the least. It was so much easier to pack up their toys, stick their thumbs in their mouths and leave the sandbox.

We are probably better off without those fence sitters. Democracy is wasted on them, anyhow.

So now we are stuck with having to persuade three or four independents to side with one of the parties so that parliament can resume. If we thought that electioneering was over last Saturday, well, we are about to see so much horse trading, grandstanding and back room dealing, that it will make the actual election look like a prelude to the three-ring circus.

Can’t help wondering what would have happened if those informal twits had taken the time to reflect on the importance of voting. Too late now.

Why waste your money on expensive cookware?

liligans So you think you're cultured?, totally absurd, What Pisses me off

We have thousands of cookware shops in Australia. They sell every gadget and the most ridiculously overpriced cookware.

I say it’s ridiculous because it doesn’t cook any better, nor does it last longer. Some of the cookware has a lifetime guarantee and I’m always puzzled by that claim. What does that mean?

And there are caveats to the guarantee. You have to use the cookware for the purposes for which it was intended.

I guess that means cooking rather than digging for iron ore. And I do suspect that in about ten years’ time you would have difficulty finding the manufacturer of said cookware to return it. They also want it to be posted and the cost of that postage would be prohibitive. That’s if you can unearth the receipt.

In other words, the cookware lasts for as long as it lasts and not any longer. Can’t argue with that existential concept.

If you read the fine print, you should expect the saucepan to show scratches. This will look bad but will not affect your cooking results. You can machine wash the cookware but it’s better not to because it may spoil its appearance.

Although the cookware has been tested in laboratories by a million jackhammers drilling the amazing bullet-proof surface of the pan, it is suggested that you stir your cooking with a plastic or wooden utensil.

All this in spite of a rather pretentious and misleading name like Swiss Diamond which gives the impression of a very resilient and indestructible surface. Not true. I know because I invested in the brand. I use the term “invested” since it cost a fortune.

I was informed at the time that Swiss Diamond never go on sale, but they were 40% discounted at some stores last week. So “Never” must mean the same as “Lifetime Guarantee.”

I’m also the gullible owner of some Circulon cookware. This one scratches, sticks and has grooves which are hard to clean. Ironically, there is a big ad campaign on TV at the moment praising this brand’s ease of use. I scoff somewhat bitterly at its claims.

Anolon was no better but I managed to return it because it warped. I was in one of those “I’m fed up and I’m not taking it any more” moods.

As for cast iron cookware, it’s good for casseroles, but who can lift the ruddy things? If you really want a physical workout try to pick up some Staub cookware. Now if you dropped that on the floor it would result in a crater and the Staub cookware would emerge in China.

The astute reader of this blog might have worked out that I’m fed up with falling for the hype. Cookware is cookware and you are better off buying a brand new pan every year at $29.95 as I have done recently and in ten years you will still be ahead financially. The pan will be lighter. You can machine wash it or not. If it scratches you don’t mourn the damage to its perfect surface.

And believe me, life’s too short to be fooled by promises of everlasting service or surface (as the case may be).

I wonder how long my new penny-wise attitude will last? Probably for as long those guarantees, I guess.

The Joke’s on us at ToysRUs

liligans totally absurd

All we wanted to do was to purchase a toy for our little granddaughter who is currently living in the USA. “Anything from Toy Story 3 would be great” according to her dad, our son.

What better store than ToysRUs for a gift to be sent from that American store to an American address? Simple? Not exactly.

We looked up the website and selected a doll for her. Then we proceeded to order it online. Easy? Not exactly.

ToysRUs would not accept our credit card because we live overseas in Australia. Understandable? Perhaps. Amazon can do it but apparently ToysRUs can’t.

So credit card was out of the question.

How about money then? A cash transaction online?

The following is the reply we received from this company:-

Thank you for contacting RUs.com regarding transferring money to one of our bank accounts. I am sorry, but ethically we cannot do that. I sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

If you need any further assistance, please feel free to call us at either of the numbers listed below or just respond to this email. Thank you again for contacting RUs.com. We value your business and look forward to serving you in the future!

Sincerely,

Melissa Green
Guest Service Team
http://www.ToysRUs.com (800) ToysRUs / (800) 869-7787
http://www.BabiesRUs.com (888) BabyRUs / (888) 222-9787
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!!

Yes, you read it correctly. ETHICALLY is the word Melissa Green used.

It’s comforting to know that ToysRUs value our business and look forward to serving us in the future. I wonder, though, in what capacity they intend to serve us 24 HOURS A DAY. 7 DAYS A WEEK if they won’t accept our money?

Perhaps we should offer some Dutch beads, buttons and other trinkets to Melissa and the Guest Service Team at ToysRUs.