There’s no chance that terrorists will venture into the Commonwealth Games venues. It’s just too bloody dangerous for them. Jihadists wouldn’t get far before a bridge would collapse, a ceiling would fall on their heads or dengue fever would drag them down. And if that didn’t get them, then they would succumb to horrid infections from the dreadful hygiene in the athletes’ village.

So what did the official spokesman for the games reply when he was questioned about the standard of preparation for the games. “Not a problem,” he said. “It is world class.” Third world, I guess. lol

Now I’m certain we are assured of a large TV audience for the games. Who can resist watching the whole thing fall apart? Will the swimming pools leak? Will the running tracks crumble underfoot?

Suddenly there’s renewed interest in these anachronistic games.

That’s if athletes bother to turn up and risk life and limb. As for tourism? Well, there should be plenty of discounts for masochists. Just getting to the venues in one piece should provide much excitement. They could even make a fortune selling T-shirts that read “I went to Delhi AND I came back!”