They call themselves “Hot Listings” or” Million Dollar Listings” but these American TV shows make me squirm. While British TV shows about real estate treat the audience with respect, the American ones are embarrassingly phoney.
Why? Well, it’s because they follow a formula of females in very high heels and strident voices dragging some individual around a mansion worth several million with 6 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms which cater for the most incontinent of residents.
And, of course, there’s the kitchen which will never be used but which has to contain every appliance that has ever been invented. It’s to die for don’t ya know with the marble on the bench top which comes from the underbelly of a crag in Africa and costs an arm and a leg. It was shipped in bits and pieces and then stuck together in situ because of its Gargantuan weight.
Are you impressed yet?
Mustn’t forget the cellar filled with wine that’s too good to drink. And so we exit this stately pleasure dome in Xanadu and admire the infinity pool filled with mineral water from Evian.
Okay, so you’re impressed by now. And that would be perfectly understandable, but apparently, according to the producers, it wasn’t enough for the viewers. The producers wanted to add some spice, some tension, some “human interest”. So they concocted pseudo rivalries between the realtors.
They hate each other. They are bitchy, they gossip, they compete.
And then one of them experiences a major personal catastrophe. His dog dies and his friends attend a canine wake. Will the rival realtor turn up or will he really behave badly? Ho hum…
As if that’s not enough drama we have to endure the private musings of another realtor. He is gay and his partner wants to adopt a baby. Alas, he is not sure whether he is ready for such a commitment.
Is this silly soap really necessary?
Quite frankly, I love looking at real estate. I love interior design ideas. I love interesting architecture. That is why I used to enjoy such programmes when they first appeared on TV.
But no longer…
I have been totally turned off by the stupid scripts which pad the shows with personal issues about dead dogs and jealousies and relationships and who cares?
What should have been an interesting insight into the property market in the U.S has turned into a collection of puerile and petulant rivalries along the lines of “Toddlers and Tiaras.”
Thank goodness for the British and Australian versions of real estate shows. May they never emulate their ridiculous American counterparts.