So they’ve unearthed a subatomic particle. Wow! Good news for Professor Higgs who said “I told you so” when nobody believed him, but so far I’m unimpressed. I admit this is due to my general ignorance about its benefits but I don’t really care how the Earth was formed or what’s going to happen to it.

What I care about is the little things. Not the subatomic particles but little everyday things such as the annoying bags that supermarkets and greengrocers supply. You know the ones I mean. Those frustrating plastic things that are difficult to open when you want to buy some vegetables. You tear the damn things off the roll and then you fumble with every end trying to find which end opens.

Is it this end? Or is it the other end? You try and try squashing the bag in an attempt to fathom where the opening is. Then you wet your fingers because they’ve dried up. You utter some words that should only be expressed in the privacy of the Collider in Cern.

Anyone watching this display would be correct in thinking that you are struggling against the odds and the odds are winning. These ruddy bags will not open and so you try another one.

Fiddling, fumbling, muttering, you proceed to attack several of these bags and feel very inadequate. They make you feel bad and you say to yourself “Surely they could invent a better bag than this!” By “they” I mean those scientists such as Higgs who waste their energies looking for what makes the world go round instead of making it go round in a user-friendly manner.

Imagine a world where that stiff plastic packaging which cuts your fingers when you try to open it were replaced by something sensible and easier to open and yet perfectly secure. Is that so hard to do?

Imagine a world where you don’t have to fumble trying to open containers without the benefit of an engineering degree. I possess all kinds of tools which should help but don’t.

Imagine a world where you don’t have to curse those damn bags that supermarkets provide.

Imagine a world where those ring-pull tabs from Eastern Europe don’t break off just as you begin to open the can and you are left with a tab in your hand and sharp spikes ready to puncture you.

Well, guess what? I have recently discovered some greengrocery bags in Woolworths (Aussie supermarket chain) that are easy to open. They even have some instructions that read “Open this end”. How smart is that? I was so impressed that I took a couple of them home just to play with them and they work well. No fumbling needed. These bags are made in the U.S.A by a firm called Crown Poly and contain 30% recycled material. So they are good for the planet and save your sanity as well!

Imagine a world in which every supermarket offered these bags to customers.

Now that would be impressive!