I buy a MacBook Air…

It’s possible that life was becoming somewhat too bright. The sun was making a shaky attempt to shine through the clouds. Birds twittered excitedly in the fecund branches. Fluffy white clouds floated serenely in an azure sky and I was becoming comfortable with things in general. Well, more or less.

Such a sorry state of affairs could definitely not go on. I would have to louse things up for sure. So I decided to go to the Apple Store and investigate the possibility of buying a MacBook Air computer.

Most computer experts like moi would, no doubt, be familiar with the insides of an Apple Store. A large but crowded place filled with teenagers in blue T-shirts, a sort of kindergarten for nerds, one of whom you summon by pressing a key on an iPad. You are then informed that you are next in line for service.

Presently, a beaming Matt or Hamish welcomes you to Apple World and offers to help.

Where do I start? Do I know what I want? Not really. Well, yes, of course, I’m thinking about getting a new computer or an iPad or…I really don’t know.

Why don’t you show me what there is?

Hard to describe the expression of joy on Matt or Hamish’s face. Because it wasn’t there. I felt sorry for him. This was going to be a long night.

The store was crowded and hot. Everybody was talking loudly and I could barely understand what M or H was saying to me. I looked around for a white flag to wave and a cry for HELP flashed silently in my frazzled brain.

What did I want from a computer? Well, I just want to be able to use it with as little fuss as possible.

Simple simple simple. No gimmicks, no creating my own memoirs of trips to Antarctica replete with pixies of penguins. I just want to surf the net, look up info, catch up on world news and do a little writing on my blog.

As I said, very simple, very basic.

The drone of voices in the shop sounded like a rattling train crashing through an ancient Roman tunnel. Apparently there were a million amazing apps I could buy. This computer would do cartwheels. I desperately wanted to press the ESC key or the FORCE QUIT key and leave the building.

Dear Reader, I took the MacBook Air home. Apparently, in the midst of all the racket I agreed to buy it.

This thing has no mouse. I am now having to caress the pad with three fingers or two or press hard in a certain way. I cajole the damn thing and titillate it with occasional success. But hey, isn’t that the way with most things in life?

You tickle this and fiddle with that and hope for the best. Sometimes you end up in the wrong place and have to start again.

And just when you think that you’ve got the hang of things you decide to try something new.

And that’s when the troubles begin all over again.

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