There are some pretentious people around. You know the ones I mean. They figure in that aspirational waste of paper called “Wish” published monthly by The Australian. In it you will find ads for luxury items as well as interviews with “names” who are into meditation and Zen and organic carrots.

They are the ones who have made it, so to speak. We apparently want to know what they are reading, eating, wearing and driving. How do they cope with their success? It can be a problem, you know, and my heart goes out to them.

Well, they seem to be doing quite well, really. Bravo! And if life gets too hectic they escape to their hobby farms where they grow their carrots and herbs. We used to say that everything was rosy but now it’s green. Green this green that. Quite frankly, I’m a little bit tired of all things green.

Above all, what really intrigues me about the glitterati is their choice of reading matter. It’s never Mills and Boon. Not for them the dime novels. As relaxation they prefer to read the entire Oxford Dictionary, all twelve tomes of it. I wonder if they ever get past B for BS. And if it’s not a dictionary then it’s the latest thriller by Kierkegaard or that other barrel of laughs, Nietzsche. How impressive is that? I’m quite green with envy.

Call me a cynic but I don’t believe them for one second. Those are the books they display and yes, they mean to read them one day. Of course they do. Or rather they intend to when they have a decade to spare. But meanwhile they’re into the Hello magazines and Who Weekly.

So what am I reading? How about the Target catalogue? My favourite restaurant? The Felafel Place or Grill’d. My favourite tipple? Bud Lite which I can’t even buy in Australia, so I go for Ginger Beer or tomato juice. My latest gadget? Kindle, so that I can get all the free books online, even the Complete Oxford Dictionary should I want it. Somehow, that doesn’t have the same cachet as having a dozen dictionaries strewn around that trendy coffee table.