Why four seasons in Melbourne are simply not enough

In May of this year I raved on about the wondrous weather in Melbourne. I was enjoying Autumn with its vestment of brown and gold, its cool nights and invigorating breezes. I looked forward to doonas and scarves and warm cuddly dressing gowns. I thought about buying one of those blankets with sleeves. I even quoted Keats.

Well, that jubilation lasted about a fortnight. You can have too much of a good thing, you know. A drop of a few degrees in temperature and what was bracing becomes bloody unbearable. What was comforting, such as an open fire, becomes a longing for fresh air. Going outside resembles an Antarctic expedition. Should I take a coat or an anorak? Do I need gloves? How about the thermal underwear? What if it warms up? (I threw that in just for a joke).

Might as well take the lot. In Melbourne you never know. Actually, that’s not quite true. Cause you know that whatever you take with you is the wrong thing. You should have worn the Michelin Man coat with the extra warm collar, the vest, the Gortex which cost a fortune. All those things that would serve you well if you entered the Iditarod competition.

The thrill of it all does wear off pretty quickly and you wish that the season, which has already lasted a full fortnight, would be over. And then Winter comes and you deposit your entire woolly wardrobe into your car, just in case.

You start watching the weather forecast for your previous abode in Queensland and you wonder if high humidity in the tropics was really all that bad, after all. From this perspective a day or two of higher temperatures would be most welcome.

Not for long, just a few days of warmth to defrost the bones would be perfect.

A week of one kind of weather is enough, in my opinion. Enough to provide variety without becoming tedious. So Autumn is perfectly acceptable if it doesn’t last too long. The same goes for the other three seasons. I would like shorter seasons, perhaps a dozen of them throughout the year. You would never get bored with the stifling heat or freeze to death with the cold. Relief would be just around the corner.

Look at it as a rebirth, a constant renewal. It would hardly be worthwhile storing your Winter Woollies in the dark recesses of your wardrobe. They could remain permanently in the boot of your car with the sun lotion and swimgear. I’m not sure how practical that would be, though.

So let’s forget the change of clothes and concentrate on what I know to be true. Seasons are good but they go on for too long. Unfortunately, what seems to be a welcome change in the weather soon becomes an irritation. Nature is fickle but I am more so, I guess. “Here comes the Sun and I say it’s all right…” for a short while, that is.

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