Forgive them for they know not what they do

President George Bush has arrived in Australia and now we will have to endure another onslaught from “protesters” for whom life is too easy.

The usual ferals will crawl out from their university digs which are subsidised by the general population of Australia. Some of them will wag school so that they can tell their friends that they attended a protest. It should be oh so exciting! Almost as exciting as the pills they pop during raves. Almost as exciting as the anonymous sex they have at parties. Almost as exciting as the drunken brawls they have at schoolies week. It will be a blast.

So why are they going to take part in the demonstrations at the
APEC meeting in Sydney this week? First of all, it’s because they are against poverty. Ri…ght… As if the rest of us are in favour of it. Are they going to do anything about poverty e.g like stop buying all the unnecessary gadgets and donate the money instead to a charity will will feed the poor?

Well, no. You couldn’t detach them from their gadgets without performing surgery. Let’s forget the poverty, shall we? Fixing that would mean giving up their luxuries, so let’s talk about the weather instead. It used to be a safe topic and even boring, according to Jane Austen. To paraphrase her, once you’ve talked about the weather, what else is there to say?

How times have changed! Nowadays when somebody mentions the weather, it metamophoses into that much dreaded word “climate”. The protesters are against climate change, apparently, because they have heard that it is a bad thing. The Earth is warming which must a relief for those fear-mongers in the 1970’s who were predicting another ice age.

So warming is now to be feared and everybody, almost everybody, that is, is getting hot under the collar about it. The protesters are definitely going to scream and shout about that one.

From the look of them, they are into saving precious water and have sacrificed their weekly bath for a good cause. Way to go!
They are against emissions and are talking about carbon trading which nobody really comprehends , but I bet somebody will make money out of the idea and it won’t be the naive protesters.

Now I’m against pollution because I like to live in a clean and pleasant world. I won’t even visit S.E Asia because it is filthy and I certainly would not like to buy anything supposedly edible that would test the immune system of a civilised person. It would be a good idea, therefore, if those nations cleaned up their act.

Should we do our best to cut down on industrial pollution in our country? Of course we should, but it should be done methodically and sensibly and cost-effectively and not to the detriment of our standard of living. This can be achieved without the violent ranting and raving of a few thousand idiots who treat the entire issue as if they were going to a rock concert.

When I see these mobs preparing to let the world know how upset they are about certain issues, I have doubts about the theory of evolution, as we know it. I think that in some cases monkeys descended from men and not the other way around.

But let me get onto the protesters’ main object of hatred. President Bush, of course. If only Bush would disappear, then the world would be a better place. Right?

The world would be at peace. The terrorists will lay down their arms and start making daisy chains to wear at the next love-in
Food will be distributed miraculously to every hungry home. All sickness will disappear. (we may even get rid of the medical profession- not a bad idea, actually) There will be no crime, because Bush, the greatest “criminal” is gone (no cops either, I suppose)

What these stupid, stupid protesters don’t realise is that terrorism preceded poor President Bush. Climate change has gone on forever and I wouldn’t be surprised if those mobs blamed the Ice Ages on the universal scapegoat.

President Bush may not be the best president that the U.S.A has ever had but I remember when people made fun of President Reagan and he is now respected as a realist. It’s amazing that those ignorant kids have not heard of Idi Amin, Vlad the Impaler, Bloody Mary, the Yugoslav leaders, Ivan the Terrible, Attila the Hun, Stalin, Vladimir Putin- not to mention Hitler and his followers.

As an over-qualified teacher I know why they haven’t heard of all these villains. I know that our history education is sadly deficient.

As long as it is easier to become a teacher than it is to become a fitness instructor we will have to endure the low standard of teachers.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it took a higher entrance score to study acrylic nails or aromatherapy.

Getting back to poor old President Bush, I wonder how long the U.S will endure being the scapegoat for all the world’s woes. I wouldn’t blame them if they decided to tell the rest of the world to go jump and become totally isolated. If it weren’t for the Americans we would all be eating sushi today (Oh that’s right, we are, but it’s not compulsory).

Australia is most certainly not in any position to defend itself without the aid of the U.S. Perhaps East Timor and the Solomon Islands could rush to our aid. Perhaps Indonesia and Thailand, who received a couple of billion dollars from us following the Tsunami.
Or perhaps Greece will rush to save us because we gave them $3 million during the recent bushfire.

Strange how the rest of the world expects the U.S to help during a catastrophe, but one never hears of America being offered aid after a hurricane or the tragedy on 9/11.

It’s possible that when push comes to shove nobody will come to our rescue, but our best bet is that America may help. That is, if it hasn’t decided that the rest of the world can go to hell. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

It may very well do so if those protesters get their way.

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