I couldn’t help but chuckle this past summer as I watched trendy and not so trendy women wobble about in their very high stilettoes. Their gait was jerky and their ankles jiggled about from side to side as they tried to keep their balance.

Some fashionista had declared that the very highest heels were in and it didn’t matter if they were the equivalent of the ancient torturous custom of foot binding which had been imposed on Chinese women. Women who had no self-confidence would feel compelled to buy the highest heels even if these destroyed their ankles and caused other foot disorders.

Hard to believe that in this age of women’s rights that it is the women themselves who choose to stuff chicken breasts into their bras and to subject themselves to orthopaedic torture. I could hear podiatrists cheering at the growth in their business. Bunions R- US would not be affected by the economic downturn, not as long as women continued to be so gullible.

What those silly females don’t understand is that the shoes business is just a business and the last thing that shoe manufacturers want women to do is to keep wearing last season’s styles. So they have to come up with something new.

Surprise, surprise, following the highest heels in the world, how about making the lowest heels the latest craze?

And that’s what I see in shoe shops around Melbourne right now in preparation for the new season. There is a return to Edwardian shoe styles, with small heels or even flat heels and lace-up fashions that great-grandma wore in 1910. Very avant-garde, I don’t think. But that’s not the point, is it? As long as women sheepishly follow the latest fashion, then they are happy.

The one good thing going for the new sensible styles is that wobbly ankles and blistered feet will say thank you from the bottom of their soles. That reprieve, however, will be only temporary, since there are some smart Generation Y’s working on another trend for next summer as I write.

How about wooden clogs with high heels or those felt shoes with bells on that court jesters used to wear, or UGG boots with high heels or maybe flippers, since we are bound to have more floods because of climate change?

There’s no end to possibilities of how you can mangle your feet with masochistic styles and, thankfully for business, no end to fools who will buy them.