Secrets Shhh…No kidding.

Since 2000, Australian women have been buying a brand of phony diamonds for themselves in an effort to look impressive. An Australian company called “Secrets Shhh” which does not pretend to be anything but pretentious began to ply its bling trade in the town of Noosa. It decided to cater to the whims of women who wanted diamonds but either couldn’t afford the real thing or had no man to buy a genuine bauble for them. The popularity of such phony purchases has always intrigued me.

In my opinion, the value of jewellery is mostly based on its high cost which is due to its exclusiveness. Yes, diamonds sparkle but so does a mirror in sunlight. Diamonds are pretty but how pretty would they be if they were a dime a dozen? Wouldn’t they lose their appeal if they were included in a packet of Kellog’s Cornflakes as a give away?

I think they would. To be brutally honest, what attracts us about a diamond is its price. So if you can buy a simulated ring for two hundred dollars, you may very well impress other people but how can you impress yourself unless you are totally superficial? You know that you are wearing rubbish. You know it’s worthless and so how can you have any self-respect?

Surely, you must squirm when someone admires your piece of dross. But perhaps not because I think that the world can be divided into two kinds of people. There are those who have to be true to themselves and so cannot flaunt a phony diamond and there are others who see nothing wrong with pretending to be something they are not.

I suspect that life is easier for those who can wear the simulants. They are probably much more relaxed about everything else. What do they care if something is real or not as long as it looks ok? It’s hard to argue with such an approach to life.

But I do see something wrong with the whole idea of wearing phony baubles, because I can’t help but reflect on Polonius’ speech in Hamlet:

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man (I, iii)

We recited those three lines at the beginning of each school day and they have remained with me forever.

When you think about it, however, it’s very possible that those women who buy the phony diamonds are being true to themselves. They are evidently keen to impress others with their “wealth” and that’s a real need for them. Consequently, presenting a false image to the world doesn’t bother them at all.

Maybe it’s ok to kid yourself. But I couldn’t do it.

I confess to having tried a few years ago. I love watches, or I used to, to be truthful. A friend of mine had the opportunity to buy a couple, of let us say, pretend “Rolexes” and so I decided to be adventurous and fake it. After a couple of months I chucked it out since it had become a burden to my very soul. Polonius’ advice had been drummed into me and I could not ignore his words.

You do have to be true to yourself. Some of us can enjoy the items sold at Secrets Shhh while others simply can’t. I know it would be cheaper if I could, but I can’t live with the cost.


64 thoughts on “Secrets Shhh…No kidding.

  1. I am a very down to earth person who doesn’t care what people think. I love diomonds but am not a wealthy person. I would buy fake one’s because I like the way they look not to impress others, diamonds from shh look no different than real ones.It only upsets people they want be superior to others. I don’t care if people know if they fake either because I buy things I like not because they are brand named to impress others. My self value is high and things do not make me special I like me for me.


  2. Yeah, you snooty cow. Go back to your Louis Vuitton handbags and Diesel hoodies, whilst the rest of us flounder around with our mortgages struggling to feed our children, whilst wanting to keep some romance and glamour in our paltry lives. Are there any Polonius soliloquiys about that? Bah. Whatever


    • I could not agree with you more, I have just bougt my 5th piece of jewelry from secrets, my husband bought 4 I just love the rings none look fake or trashy a great idea if one is strapped for money and still would like something pretty to wear. Who can afford the real thing these days. I was

      told about secrets by a wealthy woman who bought all her jewelry from there she wore her pieces with pride and used her money wisely for food her kids school fees etc, so silly people out there who wear only the real deal..your a sorry lot.


  3. I don’t buy Louis Vuitton handbags, nor do I buy the fake ones either. If you think that a fake diamond or some expensive bag is going to make your life more romantic then go for it. I am not telling you how to live your life and neither should you blame me for not enjoying fakes. I simply don’t like pretending to be something that I am not. If you really want to have a romantic evening then why not just enjoy being with the person you care for without all that other useless stuff around you that society tells you you must have. Can’t you see that you are just being manipulated by what merchants are trying to sell you? Be yourself. That’s what Polonius said in his soliloquy.


  4. I am being myself wholly and authentically when I put my CZ studs on my ears. I like sparkly things and I like white. Simple. I know what I like, so I buy it. I am not sure as to your conclusion of why are we not being ourselves when we purchase something that looks like a diamond?. I bought a roll of paper towels once that looked like all the other packets of paper towels, only they are about $3 cheaper. So what was the difference? Should I have bought the expensive paper towells because I come from a wealthy background? I couldn’t care less if someone was wearing a pelican crap or a 10ct diamond. It doesn’t make them anymore or less important than anyone else in my eyes. If somebody wants to wear a CZ in place of a diamond let them do it, trickery, I dont think so they are all sparkly and beautiful and represent different things to different people! Furthermore, if someone is given a ‘fake’ diamond by a significant other who loves them & is giving it as a symbol, then why should it be a real mccoy, people died for me to have this clanger, diamond?

    I follow Polonius’ soliloquy from a different perspective in that no piece of jewellery will ever get me into financial debt ;-).


  5. They are not CZ. They are Lab created “Diamonds” The real deal, only man made. I didnt think snobs like Lili still existed.


  6. Baz,
    Wake up and take a look at Tiffany, Harry Winston and Cartier to name but a few of the real diamond stores. Nobody is telling you not to buy real diamonds. You can do whatever you want but I prefer the real thing. Can’t blame me for that, can you?


  7. Lab created diamonds are not the real deal. Real Diamonds come out of the Earth and not laboratories. If you look up the Secrets official website they refer to their products as simulated diamonds. Simulated…not real. There is a difference, Baz and you know it.


  8. Intelligent educated people do not choose diamonds. Do a bit of research on De beers. Do a bit of research on conflict diamonds. See if you can “”live with yourself”” when you have a natural diamond in your possession. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing that I contributed to the corrupt diamond trade. Knowing that it is not animal fur, but Actual human SKIN you are wearing. People die because people like you cannot bear to wear anything but the real thing. Get off your high horse and stop insulting Shakespeare with your ridiculous analogies.


  9. If you disapprove of the diamond trade then why is wearing something that looks like a diamond going to make you feel better? Surely, therefore, the correct thing to do is to avoid both real diamonds and fake diamonds. That would make more sense, wouldn’t it? Otherwise you look as if you are supporting the very thing that you hate.


  10. You make a good point lili, But I see it as a personal choice. I think it is nice that there is an alternative out there. I know that it certainly would make me feel better if it was a simulant rather than if it were a real one for sure. It is a clear rock – there are heaps of clear rocks that are not diamonds. I think if you are superficial enough to be judging someone & their economic status on the size of their “diamond” then you totally and utterly deserve to be 100% fooled.


  11. I do understand your objection to real diamonds and of course it is a matter of personal choice. The only point I made was that I did not like fake diamonds, because they are pretending to be what they are not.That’s why I quoted Polonius’s speech about being true to oneself. I interpret being true to myself as being unpretentious. For me, wearing fakes is being pretentious. I don’t dye my hair either although I do wear make-up, so it’s all a matter of perspective isn’t it? Someone could justifiably claim that wearing make-up is also fakery and I would have to agree. I don’t judge anyone else according to the size of her diamonds. All I say is that I would rather have one small real diamond than a huge fake one, cause I don’t like giving the wrong impression. That is my personal choice, Chichi, as you correctly pointed out. Not everyone agrees with me, though, or stores such as “Secrets Shh” would not be mushrooming in every city.


  12. Yes, you are judging people on the size of their diamonds –

    Quote: “You know that you are wearing rubbish. You know it’s worthless and so how can you have any self-respect?”…

    How can a comment like that echo anything else but judgement? You are saying that someone is wearing a piece of rubbish & that they should be ashamed of themselves for it. What an awful thing to say. I don’t really see you say anything about what you want, you just slammed all the people out there for wearing what they want to wear.


  13. Chichi,

    I am not judging anyone by the size of her diamonds. Rather, I am saying that it is hypocritical to pretend to be wearing something that looks like a diamond but is not. You yourself said you don’t approve of diamonds, so how come you can be judgemental about other people’s choice? As for what what I want, I think that my post has said it all. I don’t like pretence. If I like to wear something sparkling I will do so for its own sake but not because it looks like something else. that’s what simulation means—copying or pretending. In this world we are free to like what we like. I like the real thing. Simple as that. Thank you for your comments. I enjoy the exchange of ideas.


  14. It is offensive to every woman on this earth that you assume that we all want a diamond to parade around and make ourselves feel important.

    I can sleep quite easily at night with my simulated diamond ring as I know that no one died in the effort to bring it out of the ground. While there may be a simulated diamond ring on my hands, there is no blood!

    Diamonds should be considered as controversial as animal furs. While many diamond traders claim they don’t deal in these so called conflict diamonds, it is easy to say one thing and do another.

    And yes, I love the look of my ring for me and what it ultimatley symbolises…The love my husband and I share, not HOW much we love each other.


    • Oh Krissy, get real. The only reason you like a simulated diamond is because it looks like a diamond. By wearing a simulated diamond you are giving support to the diamond traders whom you despise. Why not wear a pearl or a a pretty piece of glass that won’t simulate a diamond which sends the wrong message? As for loving your husband, how does your simulated diamond give meaning to your relationship? Surely it has nothing to do with whether you wear a ring or not. By the way, Krissy, do you ever wear leather shoes? Even plastic shoes depend on the petroleum industry which is adding to global warming. You really can’t protest unless you go barefoot and naked and not eat anything that is grown or raised on a farm.


  15. I think it’s going a bit far to call simulated diamond jewelry “worthless” first of all. The price of natural diamonds is so highly over-inflated and out of all proportion with the actual cost of production it makes me sick. Sure, I like diamonds, and I do have natural diamond jewelry. But, I also like simulated diamond jewelry, especially the stuff sold at secrets. I think it looks beautiful, and I know I’m paying a fair price for it. It’s not rubbish; it’s high quality gold settings with a stone that carries a liftetime guarantee (all my jewelry still looks like new after many years of wear). I think it’s superficial to buy into this idea that diamonds are somehow special because a company charges ridiculous prices for it. That logic astonishes me! Guess what: diamonds are not rare at all – they have a manufactured exclusivity because, as you say, they are so expensive only the wealthy can afford them. And the irony is, of course, that so many wealthy people (myself included) buy simulated diamond jewelry all the time while the average person is aspiring to be able to afford those “exclusive” diamonds!

    So if you want to buy into this idea that somehow diamonds are better than these simulated diamonds because of their price and exclusivity, that’s fine. But at least acknowledge that it is you who is being shallow and superficial, not those wearing “fake” diamonds.


    • Diamonds take a very long time to develop. They are also rare and very difficult to cut. That is why there are expert cutters. Simulated diamonds are made of zircon, a very cheap product. It can be found in great quantities and the most expensive part of a Secret’s piece of jewellery is its setting. Basically you are buying a piece of costume jewellery that is very well set. Chloe, I am not telling you what to buy or what to wear. I am just saying that I don’t like phony diamonds and I hope that you will agree that it is my right to have a preference for the real thing. Are you actually asking me to believe that you are a deeper person than I am because I don’t like Secret’s jewellery? Take a moment to think about the brand name—-Secrets– secretive about what, Chloe?


  16. Lil,

    True “simulated” diamonds are exactly that “diamonds” they are carbon atoms. A natural diamond is a bunch of carbon atoms compressed together to make the stone. This happens naturally over time. The other form of carbon is graphite. Also know as grease. It is only the way that the atoms are bound together that makes a diamond or grease.

    A simulated diamond is carbon compressed by man under extreme pressure and heat (“simulating” natures process), to create a diamond. It is then cut and polished in the same manner as a naturally occurring diamond. Most jewellers cannot tell the difference unless they use special equipment.

    The only difference between the two is one was dug out of the ground before being cut and polished. Chemically they are the same.

    Get off your high horse.


  17. Lili,

    I agree that you are entitled to have a preference for real diamonds, and that is your choice to make (I also prefer real diamonds). I am not telling you that you have to like simulated diamonds. And I agree that zircon is a very inexpensive product that is widely available because it is grown in a lab. The point I am making is simply that, while it is inexpensive, it is not poor quality. The stone is almost as hard as a diamond (and much harder than rubies, sapphires, and emeralds) and the stones at Secrets are cut by expert cutters who cut to the same standards as high quality diamond jewelry. It is very difficult to detect the difference, even in a side my side comparison with my own real diamond jewelry.

    The only secret is the diamond industry inflating the price of diamonds to maintain an image. And I don’t think you’re shallow because you don’t like Secret’s jewelry – you’re entitled not to like it. I think it’s shallow to believe that just because it’s not a diamond, it’s cheap rubbish.

    And DH: simulated diamonds are not exactly the same as diamonds. They have yet to perfect the technology of growing true colorless diamonds in a lab. All colorless simulated diamonds are made from some other material, like zirconium dioxide or silicon carbonate (sp? aka moisanite).


    • Chloe,
      Thank you for bringing some logic into the discussion. My only point was that I am not a fan of simulated diamonds and I think that the pretence is made apparent by the name of the franchises that promote them as “nobody need ever know.” I wear emeralds as well and have seen man-made emeralds that are stronger and very much prettier than the real thing, but I would still not knowingly buy them because they aren’t the real thing.
      I am pleased that you understand how I feel about just wearing bling for bling’s sake.

      Mind you, I am not as fond of precious jewellery as I was when I was younger, but that does not mean that I would wear fakes. These things, such as diamonds and handbags etc don’t matter to me so much any more because my priorities have changed. Nowadays I really prefer to have a good laugh with a friend to any of those things that I thought were important a few years ago.


  18. Blame mother nature for making Zircons, they occur naturally too & look just like diamonds.

    “Damn you mother nature for tricking lili! She thought that there was only one clear stone & that was a diamond – and now you have confused her with a few options that have predated the dinosaurs.”

    Oh yeah and while we are at it, Damn you mother nature for making poor people have the same hair colour as me – it makes me look like I could be a poor person too!


    • Methinks that “anon” protests too much. lol Perhaps we should change the lyrics to that song and sing “Zircons are a girl’s best friend.”


  19. Lili, I hope you’ve never:
    – dyed your hair
    – owned gold plated jewellery
    – used fake tan
    – worn makeup/foundation
    – had your teeth whitened, straightened or capped
    – tried an anti-aging lotion/treatment or cosmetic surgery.
    – worn a padded bra or control underwear

    All these things allow us to “pretend” to be what we are not. They allow us to project or create an attribute which we don’t necessarily possess naturally (ie. clear skin, a tan, youth, great hair colour, straight teeth, fuller chest).

    I read an article about Secrets last year and it said only 9% of the world’s women can afford fine diamonds. That means 91% – who might like the idea of sparkly stones (more for their aesthetic appeal than trying to look rich) – represent the vast majority of women on earth! In the story, one woman said her and her husband had been able to use their $10k ‘ring savings’ as a house deposit because they bought a simulant. They said a marriage cannot be built upon a stone. So true. Why try to make these people feel inferior and superficial? In the current economic climate we should be congratulating young people for making such sensible choices.

    For the record, I’m an educated woman with a high income, and a I wear both diamonds and simulated stones with pride. Diamond simulants aren’t as much about looking rich or being something you aren’t – they just allow us to have the thrill of sparkly jewels that most girls love.

    Look around – modern technology has blessed us with a myriad of things that allows us to enjoy the pretty things in life, without needing to be rich or elite.

    Only those who feel they have something to prove would try and drag down a product that makes so many women feel (and look) great. Please use your soapbox for something more supportive and productive.


  20. Ruby,
    You are obviously a very intelligent woman. However, I am surprised by Secret’s claim that 9% of the world’s women can afford real diamonds. I would have thought the percentage should be a lot lower than that considering the poor nations in Africa, Asia and South America.

    I wish that you had read my article and my responses to the many comments that were made about it. Then you would have understood that I am speaking about my preference. What other people do is up to them.

    As for choosing a deposit for a home over a diamond, there should be no controversy at all. Of course, the home is more important. One would have to be pretty immature to prefer a diamond over an abode.

    If simulants give you a thrill then you should not deprive yourself of that sparkle.

    As for me, I would rather have nothing than have a simulant because I prefer the real thing. I suspect that all those women who settle for simulants would also prefer real diamonds if they were offered to them.
    Nothing that I have said about my own preferences should apply to anyone else and “Secrets” should not feel threatened by my comments.

    After all, there are 91% of the world’s population who are potential simulant customers and that’s quite a large enough chunk, don’t you think?

    May I suggest that the lady who saved $10,000 by not buying a real diamond should have gone for a real one that was worth, say $50,000, and then think of the savings she would have made by buying a simulant lol


  21. I have just purchased some ear rings and had a look at a ringin french collection and decided to purchase this ring only to find out that all rings are made in only one size and if I want to buy I would have to pay full price and then wait up to 8 weeks but seeing I have outlayed all that money They could stall or not even receive anything. I think that is unbelievable so therefore I will have to look for somethig else. Hope you will contact me.


    • Nea Collie,
      I don’t quite understand how I can help you. I have nothing to do with that company. I was merely making a comment about simulated diamonds in general. Nevertheless I hope everything turns out well with your purchase.


  22. “You know that you are wearing rubbish. You know it’s worthless and so how can you have any self-respect?”

    You claim that this is personal choice but how can it be when you make comments like the above? This is a personal attack on those who make a choice about what they wear. Why shouldn’t I have self respect knowing that someone didn’t die mining my stone? Regardless of method the outcome is the same to the naked eye – it only differs in eyes of pretentious snobs like yourself.


    • If you don’t want to look as if you are supporting an industry that kills people you shouldn’t wear something that tries to imitate a diamond. You may be disgusted but you still buy the copy don’t you? By the way, people die mining all sorts of minerals. They kill animals for food. They also kill plants for food. They kill fish for food. Ask yourself what is the difference? Ask yourself what is the appeal of bits of glass that call themselves SECRETS. What’s the secret all about if it’s not about pretence? If somebody offered you a real diamond would yo say no thx, I’d rather have a simulated one?


  23. Hi, I just want to know if you can really pass of a Secrets ring as the real thing. Have just bought one, getting it re-sized just looked too sparkly in the store when I compared it to my engagement ring.


  24. Ladies, here is something to think about. I own 3 diamond rings all of very high quality 1 is 99 years old my husbands grandmothers engagement ring 3 diamonds VS1 and E grade, the other is his mothers engagement ring 3large diamonds VVS1 D grade and the last is a D single diamond IF (that ladies is the best nature can make and the whitest diamond known to man)While one of these rings was having the claws re-done I wore a 2 carat secrets ring I bought a couple of years ago and when I went to collect my real diamond from one of the most reputable jewelers in Melbourne I wish I could mention him by name but best not to – he pointed to my secrets and I took it off to show him, his words were “that is a beautiful diamond I would say a D grade” he then looked at it through 10 times magnification and only then did he realize it was not real. He also added that is a perfect copy of a D grade diamond. So how you amateurs think you can spot a fake at 10 paces is beyond me. You may also like to know my perfect diamond the D IF which in total is 0.75 carats with a GIA cert. valued at $16,000 could only fetch me back $3,000 when I tried to see how much I could sell it for, Just as an experiment, so anyone who thinks diamonds are a good investment should really think again. Interesting is it not?


  25. i think you should just get over it…. if a lady wants to buy a fake let her, and hell if you got the money to buy a real one go nuts. i have a fake SECRETS ring (omg i can see you vomiting on your computer) and guess what lady, i love it. i chose this ring because i am young, in love and i happen to work at DIVA, biggest fakest stuff you can get… so i love bold styles, i love bling and to be quite frank i just like the look of a bigger stone on my hand.i am 23 years old i dont want my partner spending all his money on a small ring, that i wont like the look of. is this a crime that i like the look of a bigger ring but cant afford the stuff. rings are a form of fashion and fashion is personal taste, and if your personal taste is bold(like mine) get a massive rock and if you cant afford a real ring then the next step down is one of those secrets babies…(the only reason why i didnt get an effing diva ring was because they tarnish, unlike my secrets ring) how does this hurt you or your family, why are you being a judging beep beep and saying all we want is to be fake and pretend we have diamonds…. i am saving hard to go overseas with my man, i would much rather have a fake then a small ring that people dont go wow about. oh when people say “wow” i tell them where it is from and its not real….. people understand these days that young people want to do other things with their money and buy a 20000 doller ring…

    the the hell over yourself. why did you even waste your breath having a whine about something that does not even affect you. you clearly have too much time on your hands you snooty to good for everyone bleep bleeep


  26. I can’t believe that there are still women out there like Lili Gans. What right do you have to judge a woman because she likes sparkly stones. I have “real” diamonds, and i also have Secrets. I am being fake if I tell someone that my Secrets are genuine Blood Diamonds (OMG Have you seen that film – you will think twice about ever buying a real diamond)
    I wear my secrets every day and I say nothing. They are pretty, sparkle more than my original diamonds, they have a stronger setting, and they cost 90% less than other diamonds.
    I have reached the stage in my life where I realise there are more important things than diamonds.
    Lili, what makes you believe that we wear jewellery to “look impressive” and “what attracts ub to diamonds is their price”. Only snobs feel that way. What attracts me to diamonds is the way they sparkle, and change colour in the light.
    Diamonds are expensive – thanks to de Beers, Tiffany, and others – but their biggest cost in in the lives that are lost in producing them.
    I can hold my head high – no-one died for me to sparkle.
    Lili, can you say that?
    “To thine own self be true” – and to hell with anyone else – after all they are only the black scum of the earth who died to produce your stones. Their lives are worth nothing. Right Lili???
    Is that what you think???? Ask yourself for the absolute truth. Wear your genuine diamonds, and try to hold your head high. I am!


  27. I have instructed my boyfriend, soon to be fiance, to purchase a simulated diamond. We make over $400k USD combined and could quite easily afford the real thing. However, I CHOOSE not to partake in the racket of the Blood Diamonds. I like the way a diamond looks…so I will have mine man-made instead of man-slaved.
    I also like faux fur…many people do…it is a beautiful look without bringing harm to someone or something…
    I will be offering the difference of my engagement ring to the people of Haiti in an attempt to help them regain hope.
    I certainly know that there are people out there that love the real thing. I don’t judge you…please don’t judge me.

    BTW…the diamond you are wearing probably cost people their lives…THAT I cannot go to sleep at night and live with and THAT allows me to remain true to myself…


  28. Michelle,

    First of all, congratulations on your coming engagement. Good on you for donating to Haiti.

    Your argument is very valid, but if you are worried about Blood Diamonds, then you should also not drink coffee because child slave labour is being used in Africa in its production. You should also not drive a car because there are fatal accidents in the oil drilling e.g the recent explosions in the U.S.

    There are also dangers in mining as there recently was in Chile and fatalities (27 of them) in New Zealand.

    Do not eat meat or fish or chicken because their farming methods are questionable. I won’t go on, but you get my drift… this information would keep you awake at night too.

    Michelle, have you ever thought that by wearing a man-made diamond, you will have to wear a sign that says “this is not real”. Otherwise people will think that you are supporting the Blood Diamond industry?

    I have recognised a common thread in the comments here and it is very similar to the blurb that is handed out at Secrets. I have the brochure myself and can understand why the company is distributing it.

    I am pleased that you do not judge me and my tastes.




  30. Lili,
    I will be getting engaged over Christmas of this year. My boyfriend and I have discussed heavily the topic of real diamonds vs. simulated diamonds. He insists that I get a real one, no matter the price, even if it is small. Why? Because he knows that my birthstone is a diamond (April) and he doesn’t want to get me anything less than that. While I appreciate his generosity, I don’t want a a genuine diamond. I just want something that will say what it is supposed to: I’m engaged to the love of my life. That’s all I want. I don’t want to brag about how big it is, or how much it cost. We are actually getting a .50 stone from Secrets, only because it is the smallest size they carry. My hands are pretty tiny, I wear a 5 1/2 ring. But even so, even when a 1/3 or a 1/4 carat diamond from Fink’s, or Zales, or any of those places may still look pretty nice on my hand, I opted for a simulated one. Why? Because I’ve read about the blood diamond industry, and I don’t support it. I’ve told my mother and father, most of my extended family, my friends, and my coworkers that I will NOT be getting a real diamond, rather a simple ‘fake’ one as you like to call them. I’m not being pretentious, I just care enough about other human beings to not want to buy something that has been taken from their backs. Something as shallow and superficial as a ‘real’ diamond. I respect your preference for real diamonds, I’m not saying you’re a terrible person for liking them, that’s your choice. But it would be nice for you not to slam others indirectly for their choices, you chose what you wanted, so why tell them what they are wearing is ‘rubbish’? How would you feel if I strolled up to you and told you that your favorite necklace was ‘rubbish’ because it wasn’t up to my standards? I don’t think you would like it. That’s why most of these women are giving you backlash for it, if you don’t have anything nice to say, please, don’t say anything at all. You just hurt people by doing that. You are insulting the fact that maybe because they are poor they can’t afford a 5 carat VVS2, D color diamond ring.


  31. So let me get this straight, just because I decided to go for a Secrets ring, when my fiancé can perfectly afford a 10k ring from Blue Nile I have no self respect? Really? Because the way I see it, I have MORE than enough self respect in deciding on a ring that isn’t costing someone their life. You should really think before you type anything like that. You are indirectly insulting people for choosing something that they like or think is a better and a more HUMANE choice. How would you like it if you were wearing your favorite purse and someone told you based on the style that it is ‘rubbish’ because it’s not a Coach bag? Quite frankly, I think the one that has no self respect is you. I could have asked for a Tiffany’s, or a DeBeers, or any of those high end diamond retailers, but I didn’t. Why? Because I have a sense of morality. My friends, coworkers, and family all know that he is going to purchase a Secrets ring and not the one that he had picked out from Blue Nile, which was gorgeous, and everyone loved it but ME. And please, don’t compare diamonds to food or clothing. Food is a necessity, and so are clothes if you actually want to GET a job. Unlike diamonds, which are just ROCKS. Simple as that. Rocks. Things that wouldn’t get you anything beyond a simple compliment from the person next to you on the metro. Diamonds aren’t a necessity, I don’t see them as one, nor do I consider myself any less of a woman for deciding that I want a ‘fake’ ring. And as for the ‘price’ and the ‘size’ of the diamond? Guess what? I’m not even getting a one carat. I’m getting a .25 carat. And that’s good enough for me. I don’t need a 3 carat rock on my finger to prove that my man loves me. He loves me even more for making that decision myself. So please, stop prancing around on your high horse. Get off and take a look in the mirror, you might be surprised by what you see.


  32. Lili,

    People can buy whatever they want to. they sell fake etherything these days, even fake sugar. its just a bit of metal and a bunch of atoms compressed together. get over yourself. Diamonds are nice, i have a nice fat diamond ring on finger and the only reason i have it, is to look at it when im bored, because i like sparkly things. i want to go and buy some fake diamonds so i can cover myself in frosting and afford it. sparly things are the bomb. do you think anyone cares about other people rings? i dont care if you have a billion dollar ring or a 50 cent ring.

    like you said, no one can even tell the difference. youre the superficial one needing to have to best money can buy.

    i hope if you are proposed to, that your fiance buys you fake hahaha you wouldnt even notice


  33. My engagement ring is from Secrets. I love my engagement, and even better i love what it represents. I was 23 when my partner and i got engaged and saving for a house. I’m sorry but buying a HOME instead of an expensive piece of jewellery was, is more important. Do I have no self worth? Do I command no self respect?
    This ring represents that fact that my partner and I are in love and getting married. Why should it matter if the diamond came out of the ground or came out of a lab?
    I think its disguisting if you can’t accept that. Its sad that these superficial people exist.
    Perhaps one day down the track I may own a real diamond. But at the moment paying the mortgage is my first priority. No piece of jewellery is going to me or partner into debt. Because, quite frankly, it’s not worth it.


  34. Bwahaha nice story Lili. Make yourself feel better.

    Tell you what, go to Africa and go to a Diamond mine. See if you feel “superior” or have more self esteem knowing someone either died or made about a $1 for your shiny little rock that you probably paid over a grand for.

    Must feel good to know you were duped into paying almost a %1000 markup.


  35. You are an absolute idiot! Who cares what people wear. You’re superficial & shallow. Who cares if it’s real or fake or what brand it is.


  36. Omg! You are superficial & shallow. Get over yourself! You are a stuck up snob & there are much bigger things in life to worry about.


  37. This blog post has to take the cake for the most hilarious misuse of Shakespeare I’ve seen in a long time. I doubt the Bard was concerned with jewellery when he penned those famous words in Hamlet.

    As for your statement, ‘I suspect that all those women who settle for simulants would also prefer real diamonds if they were offered to them’ – actually, you’re wrong. I asked my fiance not to buy a natural diamond engagement ring because the majority of the world’s natural diamonds are ‘blood’ or ‘conflict’ diamonds, and your purchase of them fuels civil war in some of the poorest nations. And personally, I care more about the suffering of real people than I do about the value of the jewellery I’m wearing.


  38. Julia, I have also read the blurb handed out by Secrets. Coffee is harvested by child labour. I bet you have the occasional cup of coffee or perhaps you don’t. I never said one can’t wear artificial diamonds. It’s a free country but I do wonder, though, why you wear something that looks like a diamond if you are protesting against real diamonds? If you are not careful, people may think you are supporting a product of which you are so critical????


  39. By the way, to all those who commented about blood diamonds and civil war, may I suggest that you all buy Argyle diamonds from Western Australia. They may cost a lot but there is no civil war in W.A. So you can enjoy a pink diamond without a guilty conscience lol


    • Lili do some damn research. De Beers have the diamond industry rigged in such a way that new companies and mines in places like Australia, Canada, the US etc. etc. (the list is huge) have to give them a certain cut of the profits. It’s not a distinct handout. They do it by control of the markets through which the diamonds are sold. They also threaten to flood the market with their massive stocks of diamonds and devalue the product (and they have done so in the past in localities where new companies haven’t towed the line). There have been endless documentaries and a tonne of scholarship regarding this. I did three years political science at the fifth top political science department in the world and we even covered the diamond industry as part of a course on corporate interference in and influence on political systems and economic interests globally.

      THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CONFLICT FREE DIAMOND. Even our Australian argyle diamonds. Do some research before mouthing off about a topic you clearly know nothing about. You have a right to your own opinion. You absolutely do not have a right to your non facts which passing them off as truth.

      By the way, you should probably also look into your statement about diamonds being rare. Also completely false. But hey, keep sucking up that diamond industry propaganda.


      • Anna, I agree with you that the diamond industry is controlled. However, if you don’t approve of the diamond industry then the last thing you should do is buy a simulated, that is, an artificial diamond, which would make people think that you approve of the way diamonds are marketed. A person who wants to make a statement against the diamond industry should make a point of buying pearls or emeralds or anything else instead of “a make-believe diamond”. By the way, I think that “Secrets” has an excellent marketing strategy for its products which works well for its many customers.
        By the way, according to Google, De Beers did control the market in the past, but no longer do so. I suggest you check this out for yourself.


      • Lili,

        Believe it or not google is not an academic source and I think my poltiical science professors know a little more about the subject than a blogger whose idea of research is five minutes on google. Try again. I suggest you check out some actual scholarship. The markets still work the same way, De Beers has gone to great lengths to make people think that things are different and obviously people are stupid enough to fall for it.

        Secondly, your argument was that Argyle diamonds are conscience safe. You can not, when proven wrong, then change your argument to ‘well people shouldn’t wear simulated diamonds anyway because it puts out the same vibe as a diamond’. Stick to one argument and accept when you’re wrong and seriously out of your depth.

        But if you want to get into other arguments… I have a simulated diamond engagement and wedding ring. Why? Because everyone always comments on how beautiful they are and oooh and ahhh over them at which point I ALWAYS tell them that they’re simulants and the reasons why I refused to have a diamond engagement ring despite having the funds to get one. Thus educating people. A lot of people had no idea about the diamond industry until I told them the truth and some of the horrendous practices brought up in my political science degree. Mutliple people I know have since refused to buy diamonds themselves from now on too, now that they know. They also spread the word themselves. Ethical consumerism and education starts one person at a time.

        Do you refuse to wear quartz crystal jewellery because it might just look like an uncut diamond? Should vegans not eat mock meat because even minus all of the ethical concerns of the animal agriculture industry it still looks and tastes like meat and is therefore bad by your reasoning? You need to improve your research standards and develop a little better capacity for critical thinking. When you have a blog you influence people. It’s up to you whether you educate people or whether you leave the world worse off than when you came into it. Make the right choice.

        Thirdly, here’s something that might make you think again about real diamonds. Aside from the human toll and the De Beers ethical concerns there’s one thing that hasn’t really been touched on too much – the massive environmental impact of the diamond industry. With ethical consumerism you vote with your wallet. FACT – if the whole world consumed at the rate that the Western world does it would take 4.1 earths worth of resources to sustain that level of consumerism? Are you trying to minimise your impact or maximise it? Your preference for diamonds gives me my answer right there.

        Vote with your wallet for change, and in all arenas, not just the diamond industry.


      • One of your points that I didn’t address that I should have because I think it’s very important… you said people should buy emeralds or pearls or similar to avoid the unethical issues within the diamond industry if they deem it necessary for their conscience.

        Emeralds – unethical

        Rubies – unethical

        Sapphires – unethical

        Pearls – depends on where they’re from and whether they’re natural or cultured but many if not most are unethical, for different reasons than mined gems.

        Need I go on because there’s a very long list of minerals and gems that are either unethical from the perspective of the human toll exacted, or unethical in terms of environmental degradation or lack of sustainability. The majority of stones are extracted from large scale industrial mines. This means huge environmental impact and massive human toll if the mines are in Africa (which the majority are). There are ways to find gems from small scale, tiny, hand-tooled mines (though the pay for workers and workplace safety issues are often big problems in mines such as these) but trying to trace a stone from the jeweler you’re buying it from to the actual mine it came from is next to impossible despite the fact that jewelers tell you otherwise. So unless you’re out fossicking for a gem yourself……

        But guess what is ethical and sustainable and has a WAYYYYYYYYY smaller environmental impact? Yep, lab created versions of all of the above. Simulants. As a society we need to move away from unethical practices and embrace ethical and sustainable alternatives. We don’t even have to choose a ring or stone that we don’t like the look of. Good quality simulants look exactly the same as the real thing. the more people switch, the better for humans, the better for the planet and the better for our individual consciences. Assuming we all have consciences of course. I’m questioning that.


  40. Lili,

    Before I go on, I mean no disrespect to you or to customers who purchase so called “simulant/synthetic diamonds”. I am only going to state facts of your inital arguments and intentions of the article you have written and also the facts about real diamonds. I will refer to both Synthetic & Simulant Diamonds and their retailer’s as SSD’s.

    And if you choose to reply to my analysis/comment, please don’t argue back about spelling mistakes or with any other superficial arguments, but rather answer purely on a philosophical matter, as your article is really based on that.

    Seeming that, what you actually feel offended by, are the individuals that wear SSD’s and have the intention of wanting other people to think they are wearing real diamonds. And also you seem to be offended by the Retailers of SSD’s, in that they market their products as “Simulant/Synthetic/Fake Diamonds but look and act just like Real Diamonds”. Correct?
    So for example, if a store decided to sell the SSD’s but call it eg. “Optica Sparkodiom”, and then advertised it as a new age Gem, that is flawless in nature and completely free of imperfections, perfectly brilliant, cuts through glass, and never fades, and then one was to purchase it and let other’s know that it’s a OPTICA SPARKODIUM in 14ct White Gold Setting… then you wouldn’t have a problem with SSD’s as such, and that most probably, you wouldn’t have written an article about it, right?

    So to summarize your argument, your argument against SSD’s, is it’s Image it represents and not really the physical selling of SSD’s.
    So basically what you’re unhappy about primarily, is the Marketting Strategy that Retailer’s use to sell the SSD’s and it’s resulting products as it is the Marketting that shapes the image of a product at the end of the day.

    Also what you have done, is that you have ASSUMED that not a few/most, but ALL SSD purchasers to have intended to buy the SSD product with the intention of faking their way into being seen in the society as being more superior or richer then they really are.
    In other words, your final conclusion is that everyone who buys SSD’s are not true to themselves and that it’s a bad thing.

    Now I’m not going to go through in detail about the history of mined diamonds but, the history behind mined Diamonds is not a nice fairy tale.
    You would do a favour to yourself by just simply researching “Blood Diamonds” in youtube, and if you’re still not convinced by the visual documentaries, then go further and do a proper research in wikipedia and other renown resources until you are convinced you have the truth at hand.

    So a brief history on diamonds. It all started off ok, but then as humans are, some of us decided to exploit it, and ended up either killing, mutilating or raping nearly a million africans over these precious stones. Meanwhile, some individuals and corporations were able to then control the price and the “apparent rarity” of Diamonds by regulating the amount of diamonds they release into the market on a daily account. Yes, they stored tonnes of diamonds in their private vults and made it seem like there aren’t many diamonds in the world, and they continue to do that til today. And they control the value of diamonds that way.
    So your valuable diamond that you get from Tiffany’s is not as rare as it’s price is valued at…. oh the shock and horror.

    Now, another fact, apart from it’s apparent rarity, diamonds are popular due to their brilliance, sparkle and fiery factor. Everyone understands this.

    Another fact, SSD’s have the same physical look properties. But may not have the same Chemical ingridients.

    Common factor? They both look amazing and us human’s like the look of them.

    Now, it seems in your rebutles above, that you agree that diamonds have a bad history and that there is/was exploitation involved in mining them. Your rebuttles for this is that if we are to boycott real diamonds, then we should open our eyes furhter and boycott, not only diamonds and SSD’s (due to it’s imagery), but also boycott any other products that are produced with either history or current exploitation invovled.
    Which is both a humane and just comment.
    Which leads to another strain of arguments, i.e. you have opened up another box of worms.

    The question is, have you since written the original article, re-assessed and changed your mind and now you actually believe in that statement of boycotting of all stained products or were you simply making that statement to add to the point to that it’s ok to buy Diamonds? And another question is, what is the bottom line of boycotting stained products?

    Another thing i’d like to point out, is that I don’t think there’s one person who agreed with your conclusion in your article.
    I’m not judging, just stating points, and once again I’m not trying to cause any offence to you.

    The underlying argument that everyone is trying to get through is the Morality and ethical factor. And any boycotting is to do with, hopefully, erasing exploitation and hopefully triggering equal rights in the whole world… something good right?

    I think we can all agree now, that the bigger picture is that most humans who are sane, just and honest, want world peace of some sort. I believe even yourself Lili, am I not correct?

    But how to get world peace? Well, you have to have everyone in the world to adhere to the same values in life for a complete world peace right?
    Ideally, if you have one world leader who is completely, undoubtly just, fair, mentally strong, honest and modest, and that EVERYONE in the whole WORLD believes in him/her and listens to him/her and adheres to the laws that he/she provides and doesn’t step out of line. RIGHT?
    Now we all know that this will not happen overnight. Some will suggest that there never will be complete peace in the world ever because of out natualy humanity that there will always be someone who will start up trouble, whether we like it or not.
    BUT the bottom line is we can all try.
    And that it’s going to be all the LITTLE things that us all humans can chip in to try to at least have the majority of the world in peace.

    So where to start?
    Obviously we have to educate the masses of population of what’s good and bad…. but you have to educate ppl one bit at a time…. you can’t just force ppl to be peaceful or it’ll just be contradictory…. RIGHT?

    Here’s a suggestion, since most people here in this post seem to want to stop exploitation in the Diamond market, MAYBE we can start here??

    NOW, going back to my first earlier points, yes it’s unfortunate, but SSD’s are shadowed by the Diamond popularity.
    And unfortunately if I open up a shop and sell SSD’s as “OPTICA SPARKODIUM” and market it using only it’s properties and not any relation to Diamonds…. then i won’t have many customers… because human’s are humans, and most consumers are influenced by Popular Marketting strategies.
    Of course I can start a campaign and educate and market toe the masses about my Optica Spakodium as a resemblence to something of world peace…. but it’ll take a while before ppl catch on.

    It might not be as ideal, but there are already other companies that sell SSD’s as Fake diamonds, using Diamonds as a marketing strategy, and educating the masses of ppl about the exploitation of real diamonds, and that “IF YOU WANT SOMETHING THAT LOOKS JUST AS GOOD, BUT HAS NO BLOOD, THEN BUY THIS SSD”.

    And so the bigger picture is…. WHO BLOODY CARES about what ppl use SSD’s for…. There seems to be more ppl that understand the story behind Diamonds and so they can now find an alternative to it. Let the fake artists live in society pretending to be rich….. at least it’s better then getting exploited yourself.


    • Hi Hiro,
      You have gone to great lengths to explain to me how you feel about the diamond trade. Thank you for approaching the subject in a thoughtful manner. I appreciate that you understand my objection to the significance of simulated diamonds since they are meant to give the impression of being real. So if one is against the idea of blood diamonds then one should not look as if one is wearing them.
      Your description of an ideal world reminds me of a “benevolent” dictatorship and I would not be comfortable with such an idea of government. As you say, this sort of thing is unrealistic since human beings are far from perfect and if the leader is human then he or she will be imperfect too…


  41. Wow. I refuse to be defined by my “things”. Why should someone judge a person on whether they have fake or authentic stuff? “How can they have such little self-respect?”, you ask? Well, my boyfriend and I would like to get engaged, but we’d rather spend the money on a nice wedding and honeymoon. I’d feel much safer and less pressure with a 450 dollar “diamond” ring on my finger from Secrets than a 5000 diamond ring from Michael Hill (who isn’t all that good anyway- I’ve got horror stories from someone who worked there). Good on them for catering for the middle class. It shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg to ask your girl to marry you. Anyway, it is what is behind the ring that matters anyway. I can replace that stupid piece of gold any day. My fiance and the love we share are more important.


    • To each his own, Hannah. I think that spending money on just one function like a wedding is not my choice. I would rather put some money down for a home which would last for longer than a few hours of partying. But that’s my preference and doesn’t have to be yours.. By the way, what has buying a ring got to do with asking a a girl to marry you? I did not mention marriage or wedding or honeymoons. I was merely questioning a firm like “Secrets”. Please note the name of the firm. What is the secret referring to if not to the fact that “people will think it’s real”? And that’s okay for some people but not for me. We still live in a democracy, Hannah. I just don’t like things that pretend to be something else. In fact I’d rather have nothing than a ring from Secrets.


  42. Dear Lili,
    I am amazed at the comments which have been left on this site in response to your original post. My personal opinion; I have a real diamond (or so I’m told) but am thankful that a person/persons have gone to great lengths to provide both an affordable and competitive product to the real diamond. My question is, do you know that the diamond you have either been given or purchased yourself is actually a real diamond? I say this with no disrespect intended but ask you to consider that given the quality and advancement of the SSD’s that Hiro referred to earlier, how would YOU as an individual know that you are wearing the ‘real deal’ and are being ‘true to yourself’.
    I understand that you don’t want to be fake but am quite disgusted by your attitude and blanketing approach to those who choose to wear a simulant diamond. People have posted that the true and exposed dealings of the diamond trade have left them with a moral dilemma and caused them to seek an alternative. Now, you consider this to be supporting the diamond trade and made reference to Michelle’s post about giving the difference of her ring to the people of Haiti and compared this to not eating chicken, drinking coffee etc. I ask that you consider if you apply this same principle to your own life or if you are merely using this as a defence tactic to avoid acknowledgement of a valid point.
    If you are wanting to be true to yourself Lili then I pose this to you; can you in all good conscience, sleep soundly with knowledge that your diamonds are a result of exploitation. If you can say that you are completely comfortable with this and do not try to shift the question at hand, then you are ‘being true to yourself’. However, should you decide that you are not able to live with this on your conscience, then do not think that you are stooping to a lower and degraded position by accepting the hard and conscionable efforts of those trying to provide you an alternative to the blood stained diamonds.

    Would you be haughty enough to question a loved one as to whether or not the sparkling ring, earrings, necklace or bracelet they purchased for, to be a simulant or a real diamond? I hope for the sake of your relationships with family and other loved ones that you would accept a gift as a gift and put aside your judgements to receive a blessing from someone who may have sacrificed a little or even a lot to purchase that item for you. That will be a true demonstration of where your heart is at and an indication as to whether or not you are being ‘true to yourself’.
    I love the ring that my husband bought for me and cringe at the thought that I may be partaking in the merciless dealings of those in the diamond fields. I do not consider that by purchasing a simulant I am supporting or demonstrating support of the horrors of those involved in the blood diamond dealings.
    Lili, I hope for your own sake that you take on board the comments made(especially by Hiro) and you reconsider your headstrong approach to this topic.


    • First of all, Annabel, I compliment you on your writing style. You write very eloquently and I appreciate your argument. However, I still maintain that a business such as Secrets (note the meaning of the name) is still depending on the resemblance of fake diamonds to blood diamonds, as you refer to them. If that company were actually ethical it would make certain that nobody could mistake their fake diamonds for real ones. Instead, this company whispers Shhhhhh, meaning only you can tell the difference. So what does that imply?

      It does seem as if commentators on this blog are very defensive about fake diamonds. Why is that? Do they protest too much, perhaps?

      All I said was that I would prefer the tiniest real diamond to a huge fake one. I am not a pretend kind of person, that’s all. I wear leather shoes, eat fish and chicken and even drink coffee from Kenya which is governed by warlords. Do you drink coffee, Annabel?

      You may be interested to know that it is Secrets which is spreading this blood diamonds theme in its advertising and for obvious marketing reasons. Making people feel good about buying a fake is clever marketing and I don’t blame them for wanting to make their product popular. They are in the business of selling fake diamonds, after all.

      And now for your fascinating question about whether I know that a diamond is real or not. Annabel, surely that is irrelevant since the motive is what matters. If I buy a diamond under the impression that it is real then I am taking part in a heinous crime, according to you. So if it is fake and I believe it is real then my motive would still be unacceptable, wouldn’t it?

      Annabel, I’m not into bling. I’m sorry that you cringe about the diamond that your husband gave you, but if that’s the way you feel then that’s okay.

      Have you ever thought that if Secrets were completely ethical they would not imitate real diamonds? In fact, they would baulk at the idea of selling anything that promotes the blood diamond trade? If I were in their position and if I were spreading some sort of ethical idea, then I would make sure that nobody could mistake my product for those nasty and evil genuine diamonds.

      Finally , think of this. If the blood diamond trade were to disappear tomorrow , then that would spell the end of fake diamonds as well. After all , what would simulants be simulating? It’s analogous to the concept of all fake Rolexes etc. If Rolex ceased to exist then so would the fake Rolex trade.


  43. Lets face it lilli, you are ether in the diamond trade
    And are trying to cause some problems here or you are just bored . Get a life.


    • A mind-blowing comment from Cullen! Just because I don’t like fake diamonds I’m accused of not having a life? I’m beginning to suspect that Secrets who sell fake diamonds can’t tolerate the fact that some people prefer real, and genuine diamonds. It’s a free country and if you prefer fake diamonds then go ahead and wear them.



  44. Wow, what a shallow, judgmental, arrogant and uneducated person. Your basic assumption … that women are buying “phony diamonds”… is erroneous. I have purchased a gorgeous Secrets ring because it is spectacularly beautiful. I am not telling anyone it’s a diamond … I’m simply wearing an item that I find beautiful. I get a lot of joy from looking at it sparkle … I like pretty things. End of story. (I do have diamonds also.)

    From the way you write, it is obvious that you are quite young (or if not, you have learned very little of real value in your lifetime). Your assumption that items have to be “real” or “genuine” (in your opinion) to be valuable to a person shows how little you know of real life and how well you have bought into materialism. You remind me of some idiotic women I heard on a radio talk show discussing their reasons for extravagant purchases. SEVERAL callers stated that they would buy the SAME BRAND ITEM at the highest possible price because they “deserve the best.” It’s exactly the same item… how can it be better just because it’s more expensive? …. I feel that you would buy into this faulty logic very easily.

    I actually feel pity for you and am sorry that I stumbled across this thread … people shouldn’t even be responding to you (yet I’ve also been sucked into it due to sheer amazement that you are happy to broadcast your ignorance so widely).

    I’m obviously not going to look at anything else you have written… enjoy your ‘notoriety’ but I’d rather be an intelligent average person than a petty and ill-informed internet blogger! I see that your original post was seven years ago … I do hope you’ve grown up a bit since then!


    • I appreciate your feedback, Janet. Thank you. Isn’t it great that we live in a world with varying opinions and that we have the freedom to express them.
      Kind Regards


  45. Real diamonds are intrinsically worthless and are not rare. Supply is controlled by De Beers, who are not allowed to be base in the USA because it is a cartel. Don’t believe me? Well maybe you will believe Mr. Oppenheimer the De Beers Chairman who said “diamonds are intrinsically worthless” (13 Feb 1999).

    Now search YouTube for diamonds are worthless and watch a documentary or two. Rest my case.


  46. Stop saying you only expressed an opinion. You rubbished and insulted people for their OPINIONS.
    Butt out you silly woman get a life.. By the way most health medications are now “simulated” are you going to deny yourself these. For centuries people have been wear paste gems and keeping the real thing in the banks. Your a pompous dill.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s