Two Cheers for International Women’s Day

Just when you thought that political correctness could not get any sillier, here come the Spaniards with a gesture to end all gestures. From now on, women can cross the road with full recognition that they are equal to men…when it comes to traffic signals, that is.

South of Madrid there is a municipality called Fuenlabrada whose 190,000 residents decided that women have suffered too much by having to cross the road at pedestrian lights which depict male silhouettes.

To coincide with International Women’s Day which is today, the citizens of that municipality who apparently are all members of Densa, have publicised that they are in the process of introducing traffic lights which depict alternating silhouettes of male and female figures.

Now this is a step in the right direction, but I won’t be satisfied until the Fuenlabradans install traffic signals depicting people with canes or wheelchairs, aged people with dogs, very young children in prams and let’s not forget the gays.

How devastated must gays feel having to cross the road at heterosexual traffic lights? Think of the humiliation!

This egalitarian business is very impressive but I foresee a few logistical problems.

I want to know if women will be able to cross when the signals depict a male figure or will they have to wait until a female figure flashes permission to cross. If they have to wait then surely that is segregation, isn’t it?

So my suggestion is that the signals be combined to depict a male next to a female figure flashing simultaneously. This combination could also be appropriate for couples who want to cross together. Should the signals misbehave as they invariably do and male figures overlap the female figure, then that will indicate that transvestites can cross here as well.

All bases covered, so to speak.

Enough logistics. We’ll let the Spaniards sort that one out and I’m sure that they will handle the situation with the same aplomb that they handled the Madrid bombings. They’ll capitulate to everyone, men, women, terrorists, whatever.

Getting back to this auspicious day, International Women’s Day, that is. I’ve always believed that women will only achieve true equality when they no longer need a day to celebrate their existence. I look forward to the time when we are truly men’s equals by not having a day devoted to us.

Men don’t. So why should we, unless we feel inferior?

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