Cricket Matters!

If you ever doubted that Australia is a lucky country,  here is the proof that we live in a farcically fortunate land.

I woke up this morning to the news that Australia had lost the Ashes.  Our cricket team had been totally defeated by England and this was a tragedy…apparently.

At the same time that the Aussies lost the match Taiwan was being demolished by an enormous  typhoon.  Taiwanese lives and homes are being destroyed.

In the Middle East factions are massacring one another.

Europe is having to cope with an overwhelming influx of “migrants” while Hungary is  preparing to keep them out by building a fence.  Apparently, it’s okay to have a fence now for protection.

All this is going on while our newspapers report the sorry defeat in cricket.  It’s all a matter of priorities, isn’t it?

If it ain’t cricket then it’s some doping scandal in football.

We Aussies definitely know what matters. A little red ball or some other larger one that is chucked around,  passed around, or kicked around a field of grass.

And that’s what counts here in Oz.  How lucky is that!

Bald men are in

While hanging out at Chadstone, the Fashion Capital of  Melbourne,  I was struck by the number of men who are now sporting a totally shaved head.  And so I began to wonder why that is so.

Since they looked quite fit I dismissed the idea that they were on chemo.  Some of them might have been, of course,  but by far the greater proportion of them seem to have shaved their heads on purpose.

A few of them had even grown a beard as if to demonstrate that they were indeed capable of growing hair somewhere, should they so desire. That was not such a sexy look,  in my opinion.

The majority of the intentionally bald men had dark patterns around their scalps where hair would have been if they had not decided to shave it.

The ratio of  totally shaved balding men to ordinary balding men was 6 to 4.  An amazing statistic, I thought.

It’s an interesting phenomenon.  As if to anticipate gradual balding,  these shaved men have chosen to go all the way and declare,  okay,  so I’m losing my hair,  so what?

Let’s see what this thing called baldness, which men fear so much that they get wigs and pay for expensive lotions and even hormone treatment,  looks like.

So they shave their hair off completely and defy that fear.  They are bald and it looks fine. The world has not come to an end.  In fact,  some of them look even better then they did while they were in the process of going sparse up top.

No more shampoos and gels,  no more comb-overs,  no more silly caps to conceal a bald spot. What a relief that must be.

 

Abuse of prisoners in Australian prison

Yesterday 300 prisoners rioted in a remand prison in Victoria, Australia.  It was the biggest prison riot in the state’s history.

Millions of dollars of damage and injuries are now being investigated.  How could such a thing happen?

Were the prisoners being physically beaten?  Were they being starved?  Were they denied medical attention, perhaps?

No.

The reason for the riot was much more serious than mere torture which takes place in other countries in the rest of the world.

You see the prisoners will no longer be allowed to smoke cigarettes on account of smoking being bad for your health.

Well,  no wonder they are rioting!

What next?

Will they have to stop screwing one another or using hard drugs?

What if they are no longer allowed to eat junk food?

These poor fellows were even offered nicotine patches,  chuppa chups and extra bottles of water to help them through their ordeal.  I kid you not. And they refused…

Frankly,  my dear…

 

 

Middle East students at the Holocaust Museum

A few years ago I was a volunteer  guide at the Holocaust Museum in Melbourne.  It is a very solemn museum  devoted to the memory of the Jews who were exterminated by the Nazis during the Second World War.

Among the many visitors to the museum were school children of high-school age. They would come with their teachers to learn about the Holocaust and most of the time they were very well-behaved.

Some were visibly affected by what they saw.  It was an excursion that was part of their education and it was meant to teach them about the dangers of bigotry  and racial hatred so that the world would be a better place in the future.

We can all live in hope and we have to try to improve things, don’t we?

I remember one particular occasion,  however,  which depressed and horrified me.

It concerned a school visit from one of the Northern suburbs of Melbourne.  I was walking around the exhibit as was my role as a guide when I heard a couple of Lebanese boys making fun of the photos of Jews being tortured by the Nazis.  I know they were Lebanese because I overheard them talking and then they spoke in English.

This is what they said as they stood in front of a particularly horrible photo.

“We could learn a lot from the Nazis about how to deal with the Jews.”

Those two boys were about 15 at the time and that was five years ago.

I can’t help wondering where these boys ended up.

 

 

The Spanish Parliament welcomes back the Jews. Big deal!

After several hundred years Spain has decided to entice into its country Sephardic Jews. These are the descendants of the Jews who were tortured  and expelled by good old Queen Isabella of Spain and her spouse Ferdinand in 1492.

It’s an intriguing phenomenon that countries such as England, France and Spain can’t wait to expel their Jewish inhabitants when the economy is okay, but when things go bad these countries decide they need Jewish contributions after all.

Am I cynical about Spain’s current welcome mat being rolled out for the Jews who were kicked out of its country in 1492?  You betcha.

It seems to me that the Spanish economy must be doing very badly indeed for the Jews to be invited back once again.

It’s a Mitsi ! What is the real message here?

Picture this:-

A man and his wife are shopping somewhere in a cheap, crowded market.  The woman picks up a garment that she wants to try on so she hands her bag to the man so that he will look after it.

Suddenly, out of the blue, he hears a racket.

Apparently, a group of his mates have shown up in a Mitsubishi and are calling him to join them.

Like the numbskull that he is,  the man drops his wife’s bag on the dirt ground and runs off to join his pals in the “Mitsi”.

Message?  The Mitsi (as the car manufacturer is trying to label it) is so tempting that he abandons his wife, loses the bag with all their possessions in it,  including cash and passports,  and goes off for a drive with a bunch of loonies.

So what is the real message here?

This car, which is not particularly enticing in any way,  is meant to appeal to irresponsible idiots with only half a brain.

I strongly suspect that Mitsubishi has latched onto a goldmine with this commercial since there would be no shortage of potential customers in our “brilliant” world.

Domestic violence at Melbourne Zoo

Australia is in the grip of a domestic violence epidemic. I won’t go into the causes of it since there are many, but let’s say that most of it is due to drugs, alcohol and failed relationships.

A tragic state of affairs which I hope will be improved in years to come.

To make matters worse, last Friday a male gorilla at Melbourne Zoo attacked a female gorilla who subsequently died the next day.

Otana, who is a Silverback gorilla (whatever that is) behaved like an absolute animal!

Silverbacks are known for asserting themselves in a normal manner, the zookeepers inform us, but this time Otana went too far. He overdid the aggressive asserting and poor Julia copped a bashing.

Now that is sad indeed, but I have to confess that I chuckled when it was announced that the primate keepers have been offered counselling to help them through this difficult time.